Time Is Running Out
by xxmusic rock
Summary: Dan/Blair - AU. TV based. Time is running out, and Dan keeps on turning to Blair for help.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** So this is just a little fic that I was inspired by the song "Time is Running Out" by Muse. Unfortunately, I don't own anything. This is just for fun. R/R at your leisure and hopefully I'll be able to update this (:

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_I think I'm drowning, asphyxiated._

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Daniel Humphrey had never been the type of person to get into trouble before. He had never broken a law before and neither was he the type of person to go and get into fights. He was usually quite mild mannered and he never acted out of turn. He never said anything that would cause anybody any grief and neither did he create conflict of any sort. His parents were what they called him a good boy. But like any other human being, Dan had his own flaws. Although he hated to admit it, he was quick to judge and was perceived extremely judgemental by all. He was extremely opinionated and tried to express it whenever he could, never thought good of anyone who didn't look twice at him and at times, acted like a jackass. But the biggest flaw that Dan had, and the one that seemed to land him in the most trouble, was when he stood in to defend his friends.

He could still count the number of times he had given someone his right hook on one hand, but almost every single time it had landed him in trouble. The first time he ever hit someone was Chuck Bass at the Kiss On The Lips party. Forcing himself on his little sister, Jenny, was something he wasn't cool with. Punch one. The almost-second blow was delivered to none other than Chuck again at brunch the following day. Shoving him into a waiter that fell over and dropped everything on their tray was the result of a very hard shove at the upper east-sider. The third was delivered to a stranger who was harassing Chuck and strangely enough, Dan was the one to stop the whole argument. The fourth and fifth times were during his years at Yale University.

But three years after his graduation and one globally successful book, Dan Humphrey didn't feel the accolades as much as he used to. His writing had become drivel that only birds would use to build their nests. Of course, his wife thought otherwise. But that was a part of her job. She was meant to say that his writing was still good since the day she met him. He wished that she meant it, but he knew that she was just saying it to make him happy. But the one thing he knew was that he wasn't going anywhere with his writing. He wasn't getting where he wanted to be. Yes, he had successfully written and published his first novel and it had received praises from all around the world. But as the days went by, it didn't feel like he had done it all. He didn't feel worthy of all the compliments and words of encouragement. Hell, he didn't even think that he could even write a second book. But his publishers had been harassing him about writing another novel. But all Dan thought of them were greedy money grabbers. After all, they didn't want a writer that could only write one great novel. They wanted a writer that could continually write hit after hit, not just a one hit wonder. Sadly, that was what Dan had turned into.

So Dan found himself scouring the streets of New York every night, trying to find some form of inspiration. Serena used to be his muse. She had boundless energy and seemed to turn every negative situation into a positive one. But after a while, her optimism had started to dull. There was no doubt in Dan's mind that he had loved her with his whole heart, which was the reason that he married her in the first place. But she was no longer giving him the inspiration he sorely needed. Her once bubbly personality that made his muse bubble and foam over the top now meant nothing to him. It had turned into what he had to deal with daily. The smile that reassured him that he could find something to write about only made him want to pour vinegar in his eyes. He couldn't bear to see disappointment in his wife's eyes. She had been his pillar of strength for the past year and a half, and she had heard him bitch and moan about the publishers. She knew everything about him and everything that he loved about his passion.

But this was something that she didn't know.

Hunched over, Dan Humphrey could feel the cold draft as he sat in the jail cell, shoe-less. Head in hands, his last hope of getting out of jail was on his way. Once again, Dan had gone out to try and find some inspiration and whenever that didn't work, he seemed to find his way to a bar. He had found many bars, and he had managed to get into one too many bar fights. The number of times that Daniel Humphrey had been involved in bar fights was something he couldn't count on his fingers alone. He was almost running out of space on his own toes. It was something he wasn't proud of, but spending endless nights wandering the streets of New York City made him grow tired and restless. He found himself at a bar to try and drown his sorrows away, but only to drink one too many. Usually the brawls started when another patron wanted to buy another drink when they would walk into him, accidentally of course. In his inebriated state, Dan would mistake it for something else and then after throwing the first punch, the rest was usually a blur – a blur of blue and red.

So how had Dan been hiding his midnight brawls from his wife? He had been calling a person that he never thought he'd never see again after high school. They ran in two different social circles and he could never understand what was really wrong with the girl, but nevertheless, she was the only person that he could count on. Strangely enough, the two of them had formed a better relationship with each other through Serena. Not to mention, they were the one that designed her wedding dress and helped Dan pick out the best fitting tuxedo. Their relationship only seemed to strengthen when he realised how insightful she was and that was how their friendship grew. The first time he called her for their help, she threatened to tell Serena. Of course, he had formed a deal with each other that whenever he got into trouble and didn't want Serena to know, he'd do something for her. And every time Dan was tossed into a jail cell, he called her and without fail, she would show up and bail him out. He could only hope that she would actually turn up this time.

Shaking his right leg up and down, Dan waited patiently for the girl that would save him. The girl that always saved him in these situations. Hearing footsteps and sequentially, the guard unlocking the bar door, Dan looked up to nod his head at him. Standing up, he gathered his jacket before following the guard out of the cell, down the corridor and into the foyer of the station. Hearing him say something about trying to avoid coming back in again, Dan waved off his advice before scanning the room. Looking for the familiar face that always bailed him out wasn't there. Frowning, he pushed his left hand into the pocket of his slacks while he flung his jacket over his right shoulder. Slowly making his way out of the foyer and out of the building, Dan was about to head out to find a cab when he was caught off guard.

"What did you do this time?" Her voice sent chills down his spine, causing him to turn on his heels to face the voice.

"Another fi-"

"Another one Humphrey? I'm getting sick of this. I don't really enjoy meeting you in the middle of the night at the local lock up and then lie to Serena about it," Stepping out of the shadows and dressed in a trench coat, Blair Waldorf had that look on her face that said she was going to release the hounds on him.

"It's been hard. Finding inspiration," He was grasping at straws. He had been calling Blair to bail him out for the past few months. Dan's search for inspiration had been fruitless, and both of them knew that. He was screwed.

"You better find some soon, otherwise one day I won't be coming to bail you out and you'll have to call Serena," It didn't seem very threatening, but Dan never wanted Serena to find out what he got up to at night. It was something he wasn't proud of, not to mention, it just wasn't like him at all to start a fight.

Mouth agape, he was left speechless at the brunette's threat before she started to turn around and walk away.

"Come on Cabbage Patch. I'll take you home,"

Following her lead, Dan didn't think twice about not taking her offer to drive him home. And just as he was following behind the brunette, he finally found some inspiration.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Wow, guys, thanks to all the people that read my fic and, even better, left a review. Obviously a few more things to go over. This is most definitely AU since Dan went to Yale for college, and also I started writing this before the plot on the show changed, all that jazz. I think that's all I've got to say, except for I'll try and get this updated once a week, depending on how my muse likes me and etc. And another thing, each chapter is _inspired_ by the lyrics of the song. You can see the exact lyrics I'm talking about up in the little drop down box in the top right hand corner. So yeah, I hope you enjoy this chapter! (:

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_Our time is running out._

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Daniel Humphrey had been on his laptop, typing away for the whole night. He didn't bother to take a shower and neither did he change. He still smelled like the dive bar he was drinking at earlier that night but he didn't care. He finally had an idea and he wasn't going to stop his fingers from moving across the keys just because he smelled like shit. The moment he was dropped home, he had gone straight to his study and hadn't stopped typing. It almost seemed impossible that one short statement from Blair Waldorf sent gears working in his head. He didn't know where the inspiration came from and he sure as hell wasn't going to question it. This had been the first time in months where he was able to actually form an idea and express it in words. He hadn't looked in the top right hand corner of his screen for the past several hours and he was sure that his wife was going to wake up soon. Or at least, her cell phone on the bedside table was going to wake her up.

Ever since Bass Industries employed her, she had been inundated with phone calls. Dan had tried to convince her to turn off her phone for the past few nights, but she couldn't. Every time she reached to turn it off, another call came through. Needless to say, it was annoying for the two of them. They hadn't had a decent night's sleep in weeks. She had been busy with Bass Industry's latest project – another hotel in New York City. Going in and out of the office at absurd hours of the day, calling artists from numerous burrows in Brooklyn and other cities in other states, Serena seemed to lead a busy life. It was what seemed to pay the bills these days while Dan was still trying find inspiration for his second novel. But as much as he hated her running around town, making calls and doing whatever she was told (basically being under Chuck Bass' control), he bit his tongue about it. She had been the only breadwinner for the last few months, and he couldn't have been more thankful. All Dan could hope for was that this spark could allow him to write the rest of his novel. And luckily for him, it was going quite well.

Leaning back in his chair, Dan stretched his legs and his fingers out, feeling the unpleasant pull where his fingers were connected to his palms. Glancing over at the clock, he realised he had been typing for a full three hours and that his wife would probably start making her way into the office. He didn't even consider stopping to take a break or to have a cup of coffee. He was too afraid that he would lose his train of thought and that he would end up in another slump. It was something he didn't want to experience again and nothing was going to stop him now. Just as Dan was about to resume typing, he heard a voice. If the voice belonged to a tall leggy blonde that just so happened to be his wife, then maybe he would stop for her.

"Dan? Are you in here?" As soon as the voice trailed off, a mess of blonde hair emerged from the doorway of the study as Dan looked up to see his wife standing there. Giving her a smile, he simply nodded his head as he watched her make her way inside.

"I didn't hear you come in last night. What time did you get home?"

"Late," he didn't want to worry her. And she didn't need to know that he was in jail.

"I missed you," Dan pushed himself back away from the desk and turned to face Serena as she approached him, sitting in his lap as his arms circled her waist.

"I missed you too," Liar.

He watched as she inhaled his scent. There was no doubt that she would pick up the odor of alcohol in his clothes. He hated lying to her, but he had to do it. He didn't want her to know what he got up to when he went down to dive bars and drank one too many.

"Wallow in your lack of creativity?" Shifting his eyes to see the facial expression on her face, he saw the disappointment etched in her eyebrows. He knew she didn't approve of him drinking. Actually, she had disapproved of drinking altogether. With her history of alcoholic related incidents, it was clear that she tried to stay from it as much as she could and with Dan's low alcohol tolerance level, it didn't really take that many drinks to make him more than tipsy. And aside from lying to her, he really didn't like her being disappointed in him. She used to have so much faith in his writing; it all seemed to fade away after all he could write all day were haikus.

"Yeah. But, I actually managed to write something. Take a look at this," His grip on her waist tightening ever so slightly, he swiveled his chair around so she could take a look at his laptop screen. Quickly¬¬ changing the zoom of the document, it became apparent that he had written more than just several three-line haikus. He had written several pages of block text, and the strangest thing was he had a lot more left in the tank. His brain was bubbling over with ideas; it truly was a miracle.

"Oh my god. Am I seeing this right? You're actually writing something?" Feeling her hands on his cheeks, he turned his head to face her. The smile he had fallen in love with had returned, as pure joy was written all over her face. He had missed this. He had missed the girl he fell in love with.

"I can't believe it myself actually,"

"Wait. Tell me, what is it all about?"

Dan's first novel was loosely based on his encounters with Serena Van Der Woodsen that eventually turned into a love story – their love story. It was a worldwide hit, and he wasn't sure whether he was ever going to be able to top something like it. Everything he had written for his first book was honest, pure, straight from the heart. He didn't know how he was ever going to write another piece of literary work so straight and true. Now he felt he was writing fiction. He was certain that he couldn't write every single piece with some of his own life experience, but he felt like a fraud when he was writing about something that wasn't real – something that didn't really exist.

"It's…" he faltered. "It's about a friendship. A man and a woman. They've been friends for a long time, except he's been using her. He's asked her to drive him back from parties when he gets drunk and bail him out of jail. She can't take it any more and threatens him that she won't come running to him when he needs help. He ignores it, thinking that she's only saying it to scare him. But the next time he lands in trouble, she doesn't come. And fear strikes his heart. He doesn't know who else he can turn to. He's burned all his bridges and she was the only person he could turn to."

Silence filled the study as Serena looked at her husband in thought.

"I… I haven't really thought out the fine details, but I know where I want this to go," he added on with a gentle smile. Dan was just as surprised as Serena was as how he managed to create his next novel idea in one night. Although he was going to be the only one that knew that it was really all Blair Waldorf's doing.

"I… I think I'm actually speechless for the first time in a while Dan. It sounds like it's going to be another amazing book. I'm proud of you,"

Smiling, Serena leaned in and pressed her lips against Dan's in a gentle kiss, pulling away after a short moment.

"Keep writing. I have to get ready for work. Tell me more about it when I get home," Gently patting his knee, Serena stood up and started to make her way out towards the door. A half smile was etched on Dan's face as he turned to face his laptop once more, placing his hands at the keyboard. As he was about to start typing, he heard his wife's voice once more.

"Hey Dan?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you," Hand placed on the frame of the doorway, Serena stood there with a small smile on her lips.

Resting his wrists against his keyboard, Dan looked up and mirrored her smile. "I love you too," he replied, watching her walk away to get ready for work.

He paused for a moment, closed his eyes and told himself to breathe before slowly opening his eyes. He loved her, but not as much as he used to.

The only noise that filled the study for the next three hours were the clicks from his keyboard.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Wow, I am really bad with this updating deal. I apologise for this. I've got some chapters ready to go and post, but they'll have to be staggered out. I've just started up uni and I have a horrible feeling that it's going to consume my life once more. So fingers crossed I'll manage to post a chapter every once in a while. Hope you guys enjoy this one!

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_You will squeeze the life out of me._

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Daniel Humphrey hadn't taken a single break all day. The only occasion he had left his desk was to run off to the toilet because he had been drinking too much water that the hired help had brought in for him. He had them bring him water and lunch at the appropriate times because he knew that if he stopped typing, he would lose his sense of rhythm and pace; he would lose his train of thought. But the one thing that seemed to make him lose all sense of concentration when he heard a voice. A voice that wasn't meant to be at his house at all. In fact, she was meant to be in her own studio and not inside his house. The second that she had stepped foot inside his house, she was already barking orders to the help. Or at least maybe her own.

"Dorota! Did you bring my sketches?" Oh god. Dan didn't need her here right now. He couldn't lose focus otherwise he would never get all of his ideas out on the computer. Luckily for him, most of his ideas already had been written down and he had even written out a few paragraphs of what he wanted, but now that he was dealing with the resolution, he really did have to get it finished. And with Blair Waldorf clicking her heels around the house, it was evident that it was not going to be finished soon.

Pushing himself out of his chair, Dan finally made his way over to the doorway and looked around to see where the brunette had disappeared. Eventually spotting her in the lounge area, he gave her a raised eyebrow with his hand in his pocket.

"I thought Serena was meeting you at your studio today,"

He had caught her off-guard. She probably thought that he would have changed clothes by now and had a shower, or at least shaved, but he had done none of that. He was still wearing the same clothes that he wore when she picked him up from jail just less than twenty-four hours ago.

"Uh… there was a change of plans. Serena said she wanted to come back early and see how your writing was going."

"She's actually coming back home to see me?"

"As strange as it seems Humphrey, she is. Not to mention, you having enough muse from Calliope is strange enough. Haven't you been having a hard time trying to come up with something substantial to write?"

Ouch. That was something he wasn't expecting from Blair Waldorf, considering their situation. But this time they weren't meeting up at two am and she wasn't bailing him out of jail. They had to resume their daily relationship, which was her being bitchy to him and Dan taking it all in and not commenting.

"Strangely enough, I managed to get some inspiration last night," He wasn't just about to admit that it was because of Blair Waldorf and he was never going to tell her. At least, not until the time was right.

She looked speechless. She almost looked as she was going to waiver her usual spiteful comments about his writing. Maybe this time she was actually going to read his book rather than just tell Serena that she read it and she loved it.

"Well, good for you. Now, I need you to take a shower. Serena actually wants you to look good for this opening. I have to take measurements. The tailor couldn't make it today,"

"Why does everything have to be done today?"

"Humphrey, haven't you heard a single word your wife has been saying? The opening is in a week's time. You have to get measured up so I can get the tailor to fix up what he's g-" She was interrupted by her phone. Dorota looked over at her, brows furrowed ever so gently as she watched Blair read the message that had just arrived. Looking up from her phone, she made her way over to Dan, held him firmly by the arm and started to lead him away from Dorota and down the corridor that led to the master bedroom.

"Okay Humphrey. Get in the shower now. Serena's on her way back, and I'd like her to think that you still don't smell like bourbon and jail cell,"

"I haven't had a chance to do anything. I just got home and started writing," Dan exasperated, the brunette simply not taking a 'no' or any excuse for an answer.

"No. You shouldn't have done what you did last night and I shouldn't have come to your rescue."

Showing her authority, she pushed Dan up against the wall, one palm flat against his chest while the other was wagging his finger at him.

"You don't get to say that you have excuses for not doing things. For some reason, I answer your call, I come and bail you out at two or three in the morning, and I don't tell Serena what you do when you go out on your little 'inspiration trips'. So make this easy for me. Go to the bathroom, take a shower, get cleaned up, and then come back out to be measured."

Everything was true. Dan had relied on Blair one too many times, and this was obviously one of her breaking points.

"You're under my control Humphrey. If I decided to bail out on you, you stay in jail for the night. Then you have to tell Serena what you've been up to. You do as I say, and we'll still be on the same team. Got it?"

Nodding his head obediently, Dan waited until Blair retreated. Taking a step back, she dusted her hand against her skirt gently before giving him her classic Blair Waldorf grin before glancing down at her phone to look at the time.

"Go on. Do you need me to undress you or something? Shower!" she ordered, sending Dan scampering down the hall and into the bedroom. Shutting the door behind him, he leaned back against the door and breathed out a sigh of relief. For some reason, his mind was racing, and he wasn't sure. He knew that he had to get cleaned right now otherwise he was sure that Blair would have thrown another fit at him. But he had thought of another idea. Another idea that seemed to have been caused by the one and only Blair Waldorf. He wasn't sure whether it was just out of sheer chance, or whether she was the one that was actually driving his creative muse. But whatever it was, he wasn't going to ignore it.

Immediately changing out of his clothes and taking a shower, Dan returned dutifully in clean clothes, smelling of the cologne that Serena bought for him last Christmas. The second that he stepped into view, he saw Serena chatting with Blair. As a formality, he forced a smile on his face as she came up to greet him with a kiss. The next half an hour made Dan restless. All he wanted to do was to get back to his study so he could type up the part of his story. And the minute he was free to leave, he left the foyer in his cleanly pressed boxer shorts and wife-beater and shuffled to his study.

He sat back down and continued typing once again.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** I think it's quite clear that I suck at this updating thing. The reason I don't want to update this too much is that I fear that when I run out of ideas, I'm going to take forever to update it again. So I'll update this whenever I remember to, and hopefully you guys will keep reading it!

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_I wanted freedom, bound and restricted._

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Daniel Humphrey had seemed to hit a wall with his writing. He didn't know how he had stopped writing, but he had. He had managed to write to the point where he just couldn't rely on the mental images in his head any more. He actually had to physically play out the parts of either one of them, or both, to get a good idea of how his characters were positioned. You could have said that he was a method writer when it came to certain situations, and this one was one of them. His characters had finally reached their own breaking point where Christopher, his male antagonist, could no longer hide his feelings for his female antagonist, Andrea. The moment his fingers seemed to stop typing was when Christopher pinned Andrea up against the wall, his lips fused to hers. Dan was sure that he was able to write the act of fornication, but he wanted to get it right; he wanted his readers to picture it the way they would have done it if they were in that position.

Pushing himself away from his desk, Dan finally rose to his feet as he lowered his laptop lid. He was done for the day (at least he thought so). He had reached the crucial point, the pivotal moment in the story where he had to get it right. While he wanted to continue typing, he wanted a sense of realism. And if that involved him getting up from his computer and out of his study to do some real world research, then he had to do it. Dan hadn't taken any chances; he didn't want to take any chances. If there were a slight possibility that he wouldn't remember an idea the following day, he would rather continue typing. But he hadn't left his computer ever since he was forced to get up and shower by Blair Waldorf. And while that consequence didn't involve him losing his train of thought, he felt more reassured in himself that he was able to step away from his computer. And now here he was, stopping his creative thinking process to try and 'experience' the scene he needed to write next.

Shuffling out of his study and out into the corridor, his head moved from right to left to see if anybody was still around. It was easily midnight and he was finally ready to go to bed. He wasn't sure how exhaustion hadn't set in yet, but he boiled it down to the fact that his muse had been going into overdrive. He was sure the second that his body hit his bed, he would be overwhelmed with exhaustion and he wouldn't have any problems falling asleep. But that wasn't on the agenda for tonight. That couldn't have been on the agenda for tonight. Swallowing quietly, he made his way down the corridor until he finally reached the door to the bedroom, his hand gripping the doorknob tightly before twisting it and pushing the heavy wood away from him. The room was dark, the moonlight seeping through the slit above the curtains lit the room. Stopping at the foot of the bed, Dan saw his wife curled up under the covers in her peaceful slumber. Swallowing quietly, his eyes never left her figure as he started to slowly peel off his clothes, leaving them on a pile on the floor as he walked around to his side of the bed. Slowly picking up the covers, he slid his body into bed before he eventually found himself pressed up against the blonde's back. He heard her murmur something as he slid his arm over her body, his lips pressing gently against her cheek.

"Missed you,"

The blonde moaned softly as Dan never tore his gaze away from her. There was a chance that he wasn't able to do what he wanted to do tonight, but he wasn't going to give up until he knew that it just wasn't possible.

"You asleep?" Dan murmured once more, moving his lips over to her earlobe and placed a gentle kiss against her skin. She reacted once more, a slightly louder moan than before as he felt her slowly move underneath his arm.

She murmured something. Dan couldn't figure it out. It almost sounded like she was annoyed that he had woken her up. Funny, she used to be the one that always woke him up in the middle of the night when she had that itch that only he could scratch.

"Mmph, Dan," Finally, something he could finally figure out from her moans and groans. Wetting his lips, he allowed the blonde to move to fully face him before he pressed his lips softly against hers. The kiss was greeted with an appreciative moan, Dan thinking that perhaps tonight he'd finally be able to be with his wife.

"Do you have to wake up early tomorrow?" He queried in a hushed voice, his arm tightening ever so slightly around her body.

"I have a meeting at nine, and I have to be in the office to go over a few things with Chuck at eight thirty," With Serena rattling off her plans for the following morning, it should have been enough to deter Dan from proceeding any further. But he had been on such a roll; he couldn't stop now, could he?

"You know, I haven't spent any time with you lately," Dan trailed off quietly, his lips kissing her earlobe once more before moving to the spot right underneath her ear. Coercion was not one of his strong points, especially when it came to intimacy. He was usually the one being coerced by Serena during the early stages of their relationship. Even after their marriage, she was always the one to tell him that she wanted him.

"Dan…" He could hear the annoyance in her voice. She had a busy day tomorrow and all he seemed to do was write all day. He was sure that if she wasn't so tired, she would have told him that they would have been able to be intimate if he had come to bed earlier. And he would have replied by saying that he was "actually writing for the first time in a long time and he wanted to get all his ideas down so he wouldn't forget them." It was those kinds of statements that managed to get him into an argument with his wife, and since it was late, it was definitely something he didn't want. It was clear that she wasn't going to give into what he wanted, even though he knew that he wasn't going to be better off without it.

"Not tonight. I've just got a big day tomorrow, and Chuck's been riding my ass about a few things. He wants this opening to go smoothly and he seems to pin everything that goes wrong on me, so I have to be in a good mood to deal with him tomorrow. I promise, another time,"

With a nod, Dan kissed his wife's cheek before moving onto his back, feeling her body follow his as she snuggled up to him. Hearing her whisper "I love you," Dan blinked several times before finally answering the blonde.

"Love you too,"

Finally allowing his body to sink in the mattress, exhaustion set in as his eyes shut. It didn't take that long until he was completely dead to the world. His second book and everything else seemed to be a distant memory while he drifted to sleep. But the one thing that seemed to be at the forefront of his mind was the one and only Blair Waldorf.

And a part of him liked it.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Thanks for the people that leave reviews and read this fic. I've got a backlog of chapters to publish, so fingers crossed, I'll upload more and write as I go (:

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_You will be the death of me_

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Blair Waldorf didn't even know how she managed to get to the place she was in. A part of her hated herself for getting into the mess that she had created, but the other part of her told her that it was just a repercussion of their friendship. And while she treasured it, it was starting to tire her out. Not only did they hardly talk any more, all he did was call her when he needed her help. It seemed fine the first few times, but now it had become a (disgusting) habit. She bit her tongue whenever she saw her best friend the following morning or afternoon for coffee, but now she was starting to grow tired of the lies and deception. She loved Serena like a sister, and she hated that she was keeping secrets from her. She knew what kinds of things secrets were capable of. It had broken their relationship one too many times when they were younger, and they had promised that they would stop hiding things from each other. But was this something that she had to hide from her best friend on account of her other friend?

To be perfectly honest, Blair Waldorf thought she'd never see Daniel Humphrey ever again after he broke up with her at the Bass/van der Woodsen wedding. But she was wrong when she saw him months up in the Hamptons at the white party. She wasn't a fan of him at all when she heard that he and Serena started up their relationship once more, but she knew she had to be supportive of her best friend. And while the two of them seemed to have more downs than ups, she knew that they were actually happy with each other. And almost by some miracle, the two of them managed to stay together without any major hitches. It wasn't until the end of senior year when they had to part for college the following school year. With Blair going to Yale, she promised her favourite blonde that she'd keep an eye on her boy while she wasn't with him. And she kept her promise, she kept an eye on Dan and he never got into trouble (except for the times when he would come in to defend her).

But while she thought that she'd only be keeping watch of him out of the corner of her eye for the following four years at Yale, she never expected to actually form some kind of friendship with the Brooklyn boy. To her, it would have been the start of some unholy alliance between the two. But after she actually got to know him, it almost seemed like the two of them had things in common. That shocked the brunette the most. She never realised that she would be able to maintain a relationship with someone like Humphrey, reason being was because he saw her as a 'package of girly evil'. And while that used to flatter her, it didn't have the same ring to it a year later when the two of them were almost forced to get along with each other. Perhaps she was the only one that thought that the two of them had to get along, but Humphrey seemed to think that if they were going to be attending the same college, they were going to have to get along in some way, shape or form. She could clearly recall him in some long-winded speech about how the two of them would have to cooperate together to keep Serena happy. The brunette had tuned out for most of what he said, but she could remember hearing the words "do it for Serena" and "maybe be friends" in the same sentence. She could remember feeling a little ill at the thought of becoming friends with him. It wasn't her thing. That was Serena's thing (obviously). But two weeks later and one party later, she changed her mind about him.

She could still remember what happened that night. She had a little too much to drink that night, and she was still reeling from Chuck's sudden departure. He was meant to stay for the rest of the week, but getting a phone call from his father telling him to get back to work was enough for the younger Bass to get on the next flight back to New York and leaving his girlfriend behind. Dan mentioned that there was a party somewhere on campus and that he'd go with her if that would cheer her up. The brunette laughed in his face before agreeing, muttering, "the alcohol would be doing the cheering up, not you Cabbage Patch."

She couldn't remember clearly what happened that night, but when she found herself pinned up against a wall by a senior, all she could do was call out for Dan. She was helpless against the stronger boy. His body was flush against hers, one hand on her hip while the other pinned her wrist against the wall as his lips attacked her neck. It only took Dan a few seconds, literally, to realise she needed help. It was then when Dan managed to get the senior off her and it allowed her to see the infamous Humphrey right hook. She had heard about it from Serena and Chuck a few times, and while she had constantly belittled him as a man, that was the night that changed her opinion of him. She was sure that punching the captain of the lacrosse team wasn't exactly on his 'to do' list of college activities, he seemed to have crossed that off during the first few weeks. As soon as it was evident that Dan had created some kind of brawl, Blair had to step in before her hero was beaten to a pulp. And while his punishment was bad enough, it still saved him from multiple bruises and perhaps broken bones. He never thanked her, but what she got in return was better than his gratitude.

It took several months, but it was when she found herself standing outside Dan's dorm room when she realised that she regarded him as a friend. And as much as the realisation would have made her ill if it had happened at the beginning of semester, she didn't mind it as much. They would go into lengthy discussions (more like arguments) about authors and compare their works to one another before he would stop the discussion, telling her how they hadn't gotten any work done and that they had to keep writing. Then there were the weekends when the boy would come to her room to accompany her. And while he always seemed to protest when she put on Breakfast at Tiffany's, he always stayed quiet during the film. He allowed her to read his pieces of work before anybody else and that made her feel special. She would sometimes (very often) go through his wardrobe and tell him that he needed new clothes for the semester and that she didn't want to see him in another pair of sweatpants when she came to visit him. But he was the one that gave her her first pair after their first year of college. And while she would never admit out loud that she liked the gift, she always wore them when she was studying in the privacy of her own room.

It wasn't until Christmas break during her junior year that she developed feelings for him. She knew it wasn't right, and she had almost hated herself for it. It had been barely two weeks since Chuck had told her that it wasn't working out. To be honest, Blair had never thought that the two of them would together for so long, but while he had become a changed man when they started going out, she noticed the differences in him. The visits became shorter and more erratic. He always seemed like he had some kind of nervous twitch and whenever Dan came to say 'hi' to him, he'd always accuse him of not having anything to do. And while Dan had always talked to her about whether he had been cheating on her while Chuck was working, she would always deny it. They had their dream run, and while a part of her refused to believe that they were over, she knew that they were doomed from the start. They were Chuck and Blair. They were better off as partners in crime rather than lovers. And while she hated to admit it, Dan was the only one that seemed to help her get through it all, even if he did go back to Serena at the end of the day.

Five years later, the brunette still held some kind of flame for the writer. She would never admit it out loud; it was far too preposterous. Nobody would have expected her to fall for someone like Dan Humphrey. And while she kept her feelings for the boy to herself, she knew that it would have been the biggest betrayal to Serena. While the blonde had done something similar to her when they were younger, she had forgiven her. But that would have been nothing compared to this. They were now married and Dan's first published novel was about his story with Serena. She was the one that he was meant to write about. She was the one that gave him muse. She was the one that made him happy. And while Blair just thanked her lucky stars that she found Dan's redeeming qualities, she couldn't always help but wonder what it would have been like to be his muse, to be the one he wrote about. But that was all in her head. She filled the void of him with the only person that seemed to take her mind off anything and everything when he was around – Chuck Bass.

It was eleven pm and Blair was getting ready for bed. She had to be up early in the morning to go over a few more designs before getting her designers' opinions. But it was then when she heard her cell phone ring. Sighing, she made her way across the room to her bedside table and picking up the phone. Seeing the words "Chuck Bass" flash across the screen made her roll her eyes gently before flipping open the Motorola and pressing it to her ear.

"Make this quick Bass. I'm about to go to bed, and no, not with you," She stated sharply. She wasn't in the mood for his sexual innuendos. It wasn't the right night.

"You've got quite a tongue on you. I assume it's the same one I met last week,"

She could hear the sarcasm through the phone. She could even picture the look she had on her face. And she hated that she knew him so well.

"Chuck,"

"I just got a call from Humphrey. He's out on the town again. Says he's in a bit of trouble down at a bar," Shit. Not again.

"Wait. Why the hell would he be down at a bar? He just started writing again a few days ago," It seemed that Blair wasn't the only one that kept secrets from Serena. Chuck had to be in on it as well seeing as though Serena was still unaware of his activities after dark.

"I don't know Waldorf, am I meant to keep tabs on him when he goes out? Something about not being able to get one part written down. And now he can't write any more. He's got a block somewhere or something,"

"Just tell me where he is, I'll go and get him," Sleep was just going to have to wait. Goddamnit. He was just never going to learn.

"He's down at Victrola. And since his last visit down there, none of the staff like him. I should really get security to just not let him inside the next time,"

"You do that and he'll probably find a way inside your club," Blair hissed as she cradled the phone with her shoulder. "How long ago did he call you?"

"The boys have him in the back room so he can sober up. They're expecting one of us to come and get him," Blair sighed. She knew that even if she didn't go to pick him up, Chuck wasn't going to make the trip himself. And even if he was there, he wouldn't bail him out. It seemed like that wasn't part of his deal.

"Maybe when you're done dealing with that boy, I can show you how a real man would handl-"

She didn't even give him a chance to finish his sentence. She snapped her phone shut as she changed out of her nightgown and into something more appropriate. Donning her trench coat, she tossed her cell phone into her purse before threading it through her arm and slinging it on her shoulder. Marching out of her room and down the stairs, she called for her car once again as she went under the cover of the night to save the man she could never have.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Here I go again, almost forgetting to update. Enjoy guys!

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_You're something beautiful, a contradiction._

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Being held in a small room with no windows and just one door was enough to send Dan in a small panic attack. He wasn't claustrophobic, but his head was spinning from the alcohol he had consumed. Yes, he was still a lightweight and the college experience didn't enhance his capacity to drink more alcohol. As soon as he was shoved into what seemed like a storeroom, he sat himself down on a pile of boxes, wondering what the hell a place like Victrola needed a store room for.

"Condoms?" He snickered gently to himself.

Dan Humphrey was always going to be a lightweight. And that usually meant that he wasn't the same person as before. He laughed at a lot of things, had a more exuberant demeanour, rambled on about things that didn't make sense, seemed to be much more positive about life, and he usually got into a fight. Dan Humphrey and alcohol was almost a dangerous mix, you never knew what was going to happen. And while there was always the possibility that he wouldn't be all that harmless, there was always that other possibility that he'd end up in another holding cell by the end of the night.

It would have seemed that security at Victrola paid close attention to him. And while Dan could have complained about it, he knew that they were just doing his job and keeping the trouble-makers out. But this time, they didn't kick him out or let the police deal with him. They had locked him up in the storeroom until further notice. The moment he was pushed inside, he protested. His fists banged against the steel door, demanding that he was released. He didn't deserve this kind of treatment. Nobody deserved this kind of treatment. He became more subdued when his voice gave out, which was five minutes after they locked him up.

Dan couldn't really remember how long he had been in the storeroom for, but he was sure it was for a good twenty minutes. By the time that he heard someone unlocking the door, he didn't even bother to lift his head to see who was at the door. But as soon as he heard a familiar voice, his eyes went straight to them.

"Humphrey, please tell me why the hell I shouldn't leave you in this storeroom for you to rot?"

Shit, she was pissed. And she had every right to be. After all, she had been doing this for a very long time. He didn't think it was actually pleasant for her to be the one to bail him out every time that he was in a jam. But he knew he couldn't turn to any one else. She was the only one that understood him, the one that understood his processes, the one that understood his writing.

"Because you love me too much to let me rot in here?" It was evident he used the term 'love' extremely loosely. But what he didn't know was because that was the real reason.

He heard her sigh before her lips, which were pursed together before, now relaxed as well as the lines on her forehead.

"Come on. I'll take you out the back,"

Without missing a beat, Dan got up from the boxes and briskly walked over to Blair before looking at the guy standing at the door.

"I made the most awesome joke while you were outside. Too bad you weren't around to hear it. It was really funny. Your loss too," He was unimpressed.

The brunette took a hold of his hand, leading him through the crowd to exit Victrola. As Dan followed Blair (almost helplessly), everything started to go in slow motion just that little bit more. And while he knew that it was the effects of the alcohol, it was making everything all that much more colourful. Once they reached the exit, he watched as the brunette struggled with the door. Letting out what sounded like a grunt, he moved up right behind her, his chest flush against her back as he pushed down on the bar before pushing the door away from them.

Exiting the premise, Dan sucked in the night air as the heavy door closed behind them. It only took a second for Blair to set herself on him and before he knew it, she had him up against the wall of the club.

"Humphrey! What the hell are you doing to me?!" She demanded. He could tell she wasn't playing games any more. The annoyance and anger in her voice, the way she looked at him, the disappointed look in her eyes. He knew what it all meant. He had studied her when he wasn't supposed to be.

"I-I-I…" He faltered. He didn't know what the hell he was doing. He never knew what the hell he was doing recently. The only reason that he started writing was because of Blair, and he knew it.

"I… I don't know,"

"That's not enough Dan, and you know it!" The volume of her voice was rising as she started to jab her index finger into his chest. "What happened to the days when you'd give me things to read? When you would tell me that you had this great idea for a story? When you would never shut up about what you wanted to do for your novel? Where the hell did that Dan go?"

"… He's gone,"

"Gone?!" He could tell she was losing her temper. To be honest, Dan really didn't know what had happened to his writing. He didn't want to be that guy that only managed to write one good book in his life. He wanted to keep on writing for the rest of his life, he really did. He was just finding so much trouble after his first story. To top it all off, he wasn't the kind of guy that wanted to write fiction for the rest of his life either. He wanted a real story. He wanted to feel real things. He wanted… he wanted something real. He wanted to feel.

"If you find him, tell him that Blair Waldorf misses him. She misses the Dan that would make her want to argue with him until his roommate would tell them to shut up. The Dan that would sit through Breakfast at Tiffany's with me without complaining. The Dan that bought me a pair of sweatpants because he thought I should 'try something new'. The Dan that changed me. The Dan that made me consider wearing those stupid sweatpants. The Dan that made me feel comfortable with who I was and who I was becoming. The Dan that would have loved to know that I secretly wore his stupid sweatpants when I was studying alone in my room!"

He took it all in, his eyes never leaving hers. She was getting emotional, and Dan was never really good with emotions. He had almost become a brick wall in the past few months. Nothing seemed to faze him; nothing seemed to move him. But for some reason, everything that Blair was saying really struck a chord inside of him. And he didn't know why.

"The Dan that told to trust my gut. The Dan that told me that Chuck was an idiot for letting me go. The Dan that I became friends with. The Dan I fell for,"

With the last statement being whispered, it should have sent off warning bells in his head. But it didn't. That part of him also realised that maybe the only reason that he was able to write was because of Blair. Had he ever thought about Blair as more than a friend before? Perhaps once or twice during their college years when he realised that she wasn't the same girl in high school, but he thought nothing more of it. He chalked it up to the fact that he was a twenty something, red blooded male and was missing the attention of his girlfriend. During the time that he had been with Serena, he had never thought of cheating on her. But there had been a time when he would have given up his relationship with the blonde for one night of comfort with the brunette. She just wasn't the same girl that left Constance Billard any more. She had grown, and a part of him grew to love her too. He just never admitted it to himself.

Swallowing quietly, Dan froze to the spot he was in as he felt Blair move up on her toes gently before placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. Watching her pull back and start to step away made him realise something. Maybe it was just the alcohol that was running through his veins, but he couldn't just let her go.

Shaking himself out of the trance he had put himself under, he called out her name.

"Blair!" It almost sounded like a cry for help.

Taking those few steps forward, he took a hold of her hand and pulled her towards him, his body flush with hers. He held his breath for a moment, wondering what he was going to do was the right thing to do.

Sacrifices had to be made, and this was for his art.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Once again, the updating thing isn't really working for me. But if you start getting alerts about me adding chapters when I'm not, it's just that I'm changing a couple of things around. Hope you enjoy this one. Oh yeah, smut alert for this chapter.

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_I wanna play the game, I want the friction._

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Dan had Blair up against the wall of the club, his lips fused to hers. While he knew that this was just for his art at the back of his mind, a part of him started to realise what he felt for the brunette. He knew he wouldn't have done something this impulsive before, but the words she said made something click in his head. She had put up with him a lot, and now he was finally in this position with her. And did he want it to stop? No.

His heart racing in his chest, Dan pulled his lips away from hers before placing them on the spot underneath her jawbone, generously covering her skin with kisses. His hands resting against her hips, he moved them to the front of the trench coat that was covering her outfit underneath. Pulling away from her once more, he flung open the coat before sliding his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him. His head was spinning and he couldn't have cared. He was going to cheat on his wife with her best friend and his closest friend, and he was sure he wasn't going to have any regrets in the morning.

A moan slipped from her lips, the feel of his strong arm around her waist sent shivers up her spine. Sure, he wasn't what she was used to, but it was definitely a welcome change. She knew it was wrong, she knew she should have stopped him, she knew she shouldn't have said anything about her falling for him. But she didn't care. This was her chance to be with the boy she had yearned for years, and she wasn't going to give it up.

His lips were a different sensation altogether. He was nothing like Chuck Bass. In fact, he seemed a lot more cautious. While Chuck liked to be in control, Dan seemed somewhat different. While she couldn't really tell straight away, she knew it was different. The feel of his lips were different. They didn't feel like they had kissed almost every single woman in New York. They felt like they had never been kissed, pure, soft. She knew it was wrong, but she loved every minute of it.

It was evident that neither of them were going to stop, and neither of them cared. His fingers unbuttoning the blouse she had on, Blair's hands made light work of the belt buckle and the fly of his trousers. Dan was left standing in the middle of the night with his pants down, his lips now exploring Blair's chest while her hands moved to his boxer shorts, cupping what hoped to be inside of her soon.

He groaned against her skin, the contact of her hand with his manhood made him aroused. He could feel his heartbeat quicken, his hands finally finishing off the buttons on the blouse. Opening the shirt, he ducked his head down, his lips now exploring the newly exposed flesh.

She moaned, her hand tightened. He groaned, his hands moved.

Making light work of her bra clasp, Dan pulled down the bra cups before letting his lips resume their exploration. Blair's hand loosened slightly before she started moving her hand against him, causing him to groan against her skin. Pulling away, Dan's lips met Blair's once more, this time, his tongue pushing past her lips.

Dan's hands busied themselves with the pencil skirt, unzipping it before stepping between Blair's legs and removing her hand from him. Their bodies flush, Blair could feel his arousal and it left her breathless.

Her heart was racing, she felt like her chest was closing in on her.

She almost couldn't believe this was happening to her, but reality came crashing down on her as she felt Dan's hands move to her hips. Hooking his fingers into the waistband of her underwear, he pushed them over her hips and down as far as he could. Blair promptly helped him by cautiously pulling his boxer shorts over his arousal and letting them fall to the floor.

They certainly weren't in the most desirable position for where they were, but neither of them cared. Maybe this wasn't the place where Blair imagined that the two of them would finally be together, but she was just going to have to settle for it. If she rejected him, then maybe she'd never get to be with him. She didn't want that, she was sick and tired of it. She wanted her small moment of pure joy, and this was going to be it.

Dan's gaze never left Blair's as he finally penetrated her, watching her as he finally filled her. Moving closer to the wall, he felt her leg curl around his waist, her arms drape over his shoulders as he started to move.

Blair felt different. Blair was different. He thought that she would have been the one to call all the shots, the dominating type. But here she was, acquiescent to his movements.

Breathy moans slipping from her lips, Dan started to quicken his movements, his breaths getting shallower with each passing moment. Watching her for a moment, Dan's lips moved to the crook of her neck, sucking the skin underneath. Finally falling into a steady rhythm, Dan pulled back slightly, his lips now hovering over her skin.

Blair's fingertips started to dig into his back, her arms tightening slightly as the only sound she was able to make were appreciative moans. She hadn't been with anyone like Dan before. He was slow, he took his time, he appreciated her. The last time that someone had treated her that way was a distant memory. But that was soon going to be replaced.

With Dan's steady rhythm, Blair could feel herself getting closer and closer to the point of no return. She allowed a moan in his name fall from his lips, clenching her muscles slightly to intensify the sensations they were both experiencing. Her head leaning back against the wall, she tilted her head upwards, her eyes shut as each thrust brought her closer to her climax.

While Dan's conscious wasn't functioning at that present time, he was too immersed in what he was doing. He couldn't have cared less that he was a married man and that he was cheating on his wife. He couldn't have cared less that they were in an alley and they could have been caught by anyone. He couldn't have cared less that he was playing on Blair's emotions. But all he did care about was that he was actually replaying out what he wanted to write about. And while that could have just seemed heartless and cruel, he wasn't thinking of the repercussions. He just wanted to start writing again.

"Dan," Blair moaned, eyes shut. Her breathing was shallower and more erratic, a sign that she was closing in on her climax. Allowing his name repeatedly falling from her lips, her fingertips dug deeper into his back. Dan's movements quickened and it wasn't that long before she couldn't hold it in any longer.

A loud moan fell from her lips, the sound resonating against the walls that surrounded them. Slowing his movements down, Dan continued to move inside of her, allowing her to ride out the rest of her high. Feeling her arms wrap tighter around his neck and simply listening to the brunette calm down from what had just happened, he could feel her start to clench her muscles once more, pressing him to continue.

He continued to move inside of her until he couldn't hold himself back either, responsibly (or so he thought) pulling out from her and releasing the pressure that had built up inside of him. Once he was finished, Dan caught his breath slowly before he looked up into Blair's eyes, knowing that he had definitely done something wrong.

But he couldn't have cared less.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** So I have finally finished uni for the semester so I should be able to diligently update this fanfic with the keyword being 'should' there. I will do my best, but here's the next chapter.

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_You can't stop it screaming out._

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Dan's eyes opened as he finally aroused from his slumber, not recognizing his surroundings. His head was throbbing enough to tell him that he had been drinking the night before. Blinking slowly, he lifted his arms up over his head before stretching himself out. It was a bad decision. He didn't realise that he had woken up on the edge of the bed, causing him to sink further into the edge of the mattress and roll off, hitting the wooden floor with a thud. Groaning, he didn't even bother to push himself up and try to figure where he was. He was too goddamn tired for it, and he was sure that if he tried to get up, his head would kill him (more than it already had that was).

But it wasn't until he heard someone coming into the room that made him try and get up off the floor. And it wasn't until he heard that someone speak that he realised where he was. That was when he realised he was screwed.

"Mr. Dan, Miss Blair told me to come and make sure you're okay. I bring up some breakfast for you,"

Rolling onto his back and slowly pushing himself up in an upright position, he blinked at Dorota slowly before giving her a small smile.

"Thank you,"

She smiled at him before scurrying out of the room, leaving Dan with his thoughts. And while his head protested to think of anything else besides sleep, and possibly some food to try and sedate his growling stomach, he had to try and figure out how the hell he ended up at Blair's townhouse. Bringing his hand to his forehead, he rubbed his temples slowly as the events of last night came back to him. The moment it dawned on him what he had done, the brunette had to walk into the room at the same time. And of course, she still happened to be wearing what she had worn to bed the night before.

"Morning Humphrey, I didn't think you'd make it up this morning,"

Dan frowned, rising to his feet and looking at the brunette. "Seren-"

"Don't worry. I took care of it. You're here for another fitting for the tailor,"

"But I-"

"Yes, I know you had one a couple of days ago. Even Serena remembered that. I had to say that I didn't do it correctly and he's coming in this morning to take them from you,"

"Oh… thank you,"

Swallowing quietly, Dan had to admit that this was one of the most awkward moments that he had been faced with. Sure, there had been times when his own father had caught him when he walked in on him and Serena. But this, this was far more awkward.

"Look, Blair, about last night," He started, but he was promptly cut off by Blair's words.

"Shhh," She instructed as she quickly closed the gap between the two of them, pressing her index finger against his lips, a small smile appearing on her own.

"Things happen for a reason Dan," She stated softly, removing her finger from his lips before pressing both her hands up against his chest. Dan's breathing started to become shallower. It almost felt as if something was pressing against his chest, hard.

"Last night shouldn't have happened Blair. I'm still with Serena, I shouldn't have taken advantage of you," Despite all of his faults, Dan knew he was still a gentleman in some regards. And he would have liked to think that he wouldn't take advantage of women, at all. But this was certainly something different.

"You didn't take advantage of me Dan. I…" She paused, swallowing quietly before continuing. "I never thought I would have the opportunity to be with you,"

Dan could tell that she was being brutally honest. And that was a side that he got to see when they were at Yale. It was something that made him appreciate her more as a person and less as that girl he thought he knew back in high school. So he knew when she was being honest about something, and this was one of those moments.

"Blair…"

"No," She stated firmly, her eyes glazing over as she continued to look up at him. "No, you do not get to say anything. Because I hate the way you make me feel. I hate the way you used to flash me that stupid grin. I hate the way you make me feel like I can do whatever the hell I want. I hate the way you make me want to be a better person. I hate the way you tell me that I deserve more than Chuck Bass. I hate the way you made me realise that I want someone like Dan Humphrey in my life after denying you and your presence for the first two years of knowing you,"

He knew she was getting emotional, and it was only going to get worse. He felt her curl her hand curl into a fist before hitting his chest and stepping away from him.

"I hate the way you make me feel Dan!" She said, her voice going up several decibels.

"Bl-Blair," He stuttered. He felt like a fish on dry land, flopping around helplessly. He didn't know what to do. His intention wasn't to make her fall in love with her and then dash all of her hopes and dreams. This wasn't right.

"Blair, I… I…" He couldn't even finish his sentence.

"I'm in freaking love with you!"

There it was. And maybe in some parallel universe, that part of Dan that might have possibly had feelings for the brunette and instigated what they did last night, might have jumped for joy. But in this moment, Dan's heart sank. He swallowed hard, and tried to breathe. Because he knew this wasn't supposed to happen. This wasn't supposed to happen at all. And maybe there was a little part of him that got excited over the fact that she liked him, but this could not have been happening right now.

Lips pursed, Dan shook his head slightly before looking around for his jacket, picking it up from the foot of the bed and putting it on.

"I have to go," He stated flatly.

"No, Dan…"

Without responding, he started to walk towards the door, but was stopped by Blair taking a hold of his wrist and pulling him back.

"Dan," She pleaded. He turned to look at her to see the sadness in her eyes.

"Blair, it shouldn't have happened," Dan almost whispered. "Last night was a mistake,"

Seeing the brunette swallow, he knew he had said the wrong words. Could his last words to his only friend have been 'last night was a mistake'?

Feeling her grip loosen around his wrist, she averted her gaze from his before he finally turned to leave the brunette in the room. And as he exited the room and walked down the corridor, all he could hear were her sobs.

God, he was so fucked.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** So much for updating this when I was done with uni. Let's face it, I'm not great with this. But here's a few more chapters to tide you over if you're still following this!

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_You can't push it underground._

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Dan had found himself at the bar that he used to know very well – the same place where Shapiro used to drink. It was almost funny how he managed to follow in his mentor's footsteps when he only shadowed him for a summer. He had to make sure that the man didn't drink a drop of alcohol before noon yet he managed to write pieces that absolutely blew his mind. He didn't understand how it worked when he was a teenager, but now that he was much older and wiser, he understood.

While the only reason that Dan was there at one in the afternoon was because all of the voices in his head wouldn't stop talking. No, he wasn't going crazy, but he might as well have been. He had cheated on his wife with her best friend. God, this almost reminded him of when he found out that Serena had slept with Nate while he was going out with Blair. This was bad. This was just bad. He had told himself that he wasn't ever going to do that to her because he knew how it hurt all of them, especially Blair. He didn't want to put anybody in that position ever again. But it seemed that words meant absolutely nothing now.

Dan had ignored all calls, even the one from his publisher. He knew that he was late for his book, they had continually reminded him of that fact. He was sure that that could have been the call to let him know that they were dropping him, but he couldn't have cared. What he had done was much more important. He hadn't spoken to Serena for days. In fact, he hadn't seen her for days. She had been so wrapped up in work she hardly had any time at home. And during the time that he was actually at home, she was always on her cell, making sure that everything was going to go to plan. And while he loved that Serena had a passion for her job, it just… it wasn't the same. They weren't meant to turn out like this. They lacked the spark that they had when they were teenagers. Was this the end of their run? If so, the end had come so much earlier that he had refused to acknowledge it.

Downing the shot that was on the bar, he paid the bartender his tab before getting up and walking out. It had been a few hours since he had left Blair's apartment, but he knew that he had to make amends. He had to make sure that probably the only person that understood him, the only other person that would actually understand him as who he really was, was still going to be there for him at the end of the day. Because he knew that this relationship was much more complicated now. She had feelings for him, and because he was a stupid idiot, he hadn't seen it. They weren't meant to happen, but they did. And while he once thought that he might have had feelings for Blair, he had buried them. They were long gone, and they were non-existent now.

"They're not there. They're not there," He repeated over and over as he found his feet carrying him back up the street and down towards the apartment that he had left earlier.

* * *

"Mr. Humphrey, you better come back another time,"

"I'm sorry Dorota. I have to see her right now,"

As the two of them shuffled down the hallway, Dorota tried to block Dan off but to no avail. But as Dan continued his way down the hallway, he eventually stopped himself when he thought he saw something that was out of place. Dan instantly knew what it was, but he was tempted to think that he was seeing things. He knew Blair better than that. Swallowing, Dan walked over to the chair and picked up the material that Chuck Bass called a cravat. Gripping it in his hand, he turned to look at Dorota who simply gave him an 'I told you so' look before turning around shuffling away. Cravat still in hand, Dan took tentative steps towards her bedroom, blinking slowly before he paused outside the door. He was only there for a few seconds or so before the door flung open, catching him off guard. Flinching, Dan's head moved backwards gently to see Chuck standing in the doorway. Simply snatching the cravat from his hands, he simply gave Dan a look before pushing past him and down the hall. Swallowing, Dan looked inside the bedroom to see Blair sitting up on the bed looking deflated. Just as he was about to take a step forward, he heard her speak.

"Just. Don't Dan. I don't… I don't need judgment about what I do in my own house,"

"What the hell, you called Chuck Bass of all people?"

"You're judging me!" Blair reminded, finally lifting her head to look at Dan who had already walked several steps into her room and also shut the door so Dorota didn't have to hear what was going on.

"Because you called Chuck! I thought we've been through this. You know Chuck isn't good for you. He's poison,"

"Might as well have the poison if I can't have the antidote…"

"Blair…"

"No. I know what we did was wrong. But I can't help the way I feel Dan. I can't…"

He sighed. He knew he couldn't just take away her feelings for him, and he knew that this wasn't going to blow over either. It was going to be difficult. But they had to get back to what they were before all of last night happened. It had to be that way because he was still married, he was still happy (at least that was what he told himself) and he was finally starting to write again. But he'd never admit that the brunette had become his muse.

"Blair, we… this can't change our relationship. I care for you, a lot. I love you as a friend, and nothing more,"

"Why do you think I'd rather have Chuck Dan? We hardly talk any more since we broke up, I call him when I need something and he does the same for me. He keeps me satisfied when the one man I want can't,"

"Blair…" He sighed. He almost felt guilty for putting her in this position. He didn't know how it felt, but he knew the unrequited love story quite well.

"Stop saying my name! You can't just come in and tell me that I can't see Chuck just because we both know he's bad for me. Even I know he's bad for me. I don't need reminding!"

"Well apparently you do since he just walked out of here!" Dan seethed. He shouldn't have gotten mad at Blair, but she had put him in a difficult position.

"We didn't do anything," Blair replied timidly. "I just… I couldn't,"

With her head lowered, Dan could still spot whenever she was crying. And this was one of those moments. Sighing softly, Dan made his way over to Blair and sat down beside her on the bed. Reaching over to try and wrap his arms around her, she moved away. Clucking his tongue and frowning, he reached out once more and before she could pull away, he had his arms wrapped around her and pulling her in a warm embrace. Feeling her body relax against his, he soon felt the familiar shudder of her body as she started to sob into his chest.


	10. Chapter 10

_You will suck the life out of me._

-----------

Dan found himself wandering through Central Park, finally sitting down at a bench at Bethesda Terrace. It had recently become the place where he would sit and think, listen to the water rushing over the waterfall and just relax. He was always at peace the instant he sat down, closed his eyes and just listened to the people and the water from the fountain. But lately, he had been visiting the terrace more often that he had anticipated. His mind was in a state of unrest, and this time he knew the source of it.

Sighing heavily, Dan leaned forward on the bench and buried his head in his hands as he closed his eyes, trying to suppress the voices in his head. But his concentration faltered as he heard a familiar voice speak to him.

"Didn't think I'd be seeing you here for a while Dan,"

Sitting up straight, Dan looked up to see just the person he was looking for. Greeting him with a warm smile, he stood up and shook his hand before eventually giving him a half hug.

"Great to see you again Nate. It's been a while,"

"Yeah. The last time we talked, I was in shambles. Now, I'm engaged," The boy grinned from ear to ear as Dan's eyes widened at the statement.

"W-wow," he stammered "Congratulations Nate!"

"Thanks,"

Nate was once the boy that didn't know who he was supposed to be, the boy that lacked direction. Now it seemed that the two of them had switched places. He was confident, he knew what he was doing, he knew where he was going to go. Dan on the other hand, was unsure, confused and lost. Their roles had reversed, and a part of him hated it. But that was the exact reason that Dan had called Nate.

"Hey, I need some advice,"

"You know I'm not the greatest when it comes to advice," Nate laughed before eventually moving and sitting down on the bench, Dan following his lead. "What do you need help on?"

"Blair…"

The dirty blonde smiled and laughed softly, nodding his head. "Ah, say no more,"

Dan smiled slightly before dropping his head slightly, ready to hear stories about Nate's years with Blair.

"Blair can be difficult. She's headstrong. She always gets what she wants. And when I say always, I mean always," Nate paused as he turned to look at Dan with a smile. "She came off as a bitch because she was insecure. She lacked stability, and when I slept with Serena, I didn't know whether I loved Blair as much as I used to. I was unsure of my feelings for Serena and she left for boarding school for the year. I wasn't really there for her as much as I should have been, and that contributed to her being insecure. Not to mention her mom. She would harass Blair over her eating habits, making sure that she ate. It was too much for a sixteen year old. At least, for someone like Blair. She handled it really well, but I think in a way, it made her the person she is today,"

Sitting in silence, Dan pursed his lips as he listened to his friend speak. Everything he had heard him say was true, and he knew all of that about her. What else was there to find learn?

"I learnt patience from her. That and she will go behind your back to get whatever she wants. But that was when we were still in high school. Things are different now," Nate smiled as he turned to look at Dan.

"I know Dan," Nate trailed off knowingly. Wait, what could he possibly know that Dan didn't? Turning to look at Nate, he simply gave him a confused look as the boy simply smiled at him.

"What, you think I'm an idiot? I've come a long way since high school," he laughed before placing a hand on his shoulder and looking at him seriously.

"I talked a lot to her while we were all at college. She couldn't stop talking about you and how you two managed to become friends and the similarities you had. She also told me about the things that she thought Chuck was doing and how you managed to get her out of her self-loathing period," Nate paused for a moment, just to allow the pieces of the puzzle to fall into place for Dan.

"I've know her feelings for you for a long time. I was the first one to know. She would never tell either you or Serena, and Chuck would probably laugh at her before brushing it off. I was the only person she turned to. And, you know after all these years, I'm a little surprised she's held out for that long,"

"H-how long?" Dan stammered. He was being overwhelmed with information; he needed Nate to slow down.

"Since junior year,"

Dan was quite sure that his mind was blown at that point. It was too overwhelming. Blair Waldorf had had feelings for him ever since they were in college? God, he needed more time. More time than what Nate was giving him right now.

"I-… I… Nate," Dan gasped, looking up at Nate, almost helplessly.

"Now we both know why neither of us told you Dan. You were happy with Serena. And she knew what would happen if she told you. It would have broken her heart and it would have put their friendship in jeopardy. She didn't want you to have to choose, like I had to 'choose',"

"It broke her heart, knowing that I still had feelings for Serena after she came back. She didn't want something like that happening to Serena. Because even though sometimes they fight, she cherishes her friendship with her the most. That's what has made her the person today, her friendship with her and you. Both of you have been constants in her life since college, and I really have you to thank for making her soften up a little,"

"I… Nate, I can't. Serena… Blair…" He was tripping over his words. He didn't know what he was saying any more. He had lost all train of thought the second that Nate had told him he knew about Blair's feelings for him.

"Look, I've known Blair since we were toddlers. If I know her, she'll still be waiting for you five years from today. Blair Waldorf always gets what she wants. But when it involves her two best friends, she'll wait a lifetime if she has to. But you have to tell her how you feel. Because if you tell her up front that you don't want her to wait for you, she won't. She'll let it go and move on. Just think about that,"

Swallowing, Dan took several deep breaths to calm himself down before Nate's words finally sank in. Giving him a weak smile, Dan sat back against the bench before thinking. He had to tell her. He had to tell her if he was worth the wait or not.


	11. Chapter 11

_I wanna break this spell you've created._

Dan had become a ghost in his own house. Serena had gotten increasingly busier as the opening day for the new Bass hotel was drawing nearer. He had stopped writing as he tried to think of what he was going to do. It had almost been a week since his world turned upside down. It had been seven days since Blair's confession. It had been seven days since the last time he spoke to her, saw her. It had been seven days since he had seen Chuck Bass exiting her apartment, pissed off as hell. It had been four days since he had seen Nathaniel Archibald, smiling from ear to ear and telling him that Blair was going to wait for him unless he told her so.

Seated at the dining table with his laptop beside him, he watched as the cursor blinked monotonously. Not surprisingly, he had not been able to write a single word for seven days. Sighing, he shut the lid of his laptop in frustration before he turned his attention to the breakfast that was sitting in front of him. Picking up the glass of orange juice, he took a sip before he heard a pair of heels clicking against the hard surface of the floor.

Swallowing the last of the juice, he turned around to see Serena rushing in, giving her husband a weak smile as she fished out a bagel from the breadbasket.

"Only two more days. Are you excited?" Dan asked with a small smile, lowering the glass to the table as he watched Serena move around the table with ease. He hadn't really been present for the past few days, but he could tell that she was used to having her breakfast on the go.

"Excited that it will finally be all over!" She exasperated with a bright smile as paused momentarily to face Dan. "Then I can finally have a life! Spend some time with you and find out what you've been up to for the past few days," She muttered as she picked up a knife, smearing cream cheese on the bagel.

Biting his tongue, Dan gave her a smile before nodding his head. If only she really knew what he had been up to.

"Do I need to make a reminder in my calendar for the day you'll be free? Or should we just play it by ear?" He teased with a smile, picking up his own bagel and lifting it to his mouth. Watching as Serena turned to him, he noticed the infamous pout, but the corners of her lips had turned up.

"Shut up. I might be back at a reasonable time tonight. Chuck needs his beauty sleep before an opening,"

Rushing over to Dan's side, she placed a brief kiss against his cheek before mumbling that she would see him later. Nodding, he said his goodbye to his wife before breathing out heavily. Turning to look at his laptop, he furrowed his brow gently before he got up from the chair. Tucking it underneath his arm, he picked up the cup of coffee and brought it with him as he made his way back to the study.

Knocking on the double doors, he twisted the doorknob before pulling it back and stepping inside. Looking around, Dan finally found a figure sitting over a large desk. Closing the door and clearing his throat, he watched as the startled brunette turn to face him.

"Dan," She breathed out quietly, her ends of her lips curling up ever so slightly.

He knew what that meant. She was happy, even though she shouldn't have been happy. Swallowing, Dan dropped his head slightly to the stack of papers that was in his hands. Taking a breath, he proceeded to walk further inside Blair's workroom, slowly reading the manuscript out loud.

"Why are you calling me Christopher? You know I haven't been taking your calls for days," Andrea's voice resonating, a shudder going down Christopher's spine.

"I needed to talk to you An. I need to say how sorry I am. How sorry I am for the other night," He was starting to sound desperate, and he knew it.

"You've always told me you're sorry Chris. You've always told me you'll never do it again. And every single time, I believe you. And then a week later, I get a call from Mark that you're in trouble again and I have to come and help you,"

Christopher fell silent.

"You keep on using me as your escape route. I'm tired of it. I don't want to do this any more,"

"I- I'm sorry," He stammered.

Stopping, Dan was now several feet away from Blair who was still perched on her chair.

"I'm sorry," Dan said, breaking the silence. "I'm sorry for what I did, for how I reacted. I'm sorry for everything,"

It almost felt like everything he had said fell on deaf ears as Blair was still looking up at him.

"… Is that part of your book?"

Swallowing, Dan nodded slowly as he took several steps forward and handed her what there was of the manuscript.

"It's what I've got so far. I just started reading from a arbitrary paragraph," He replied.

Watching as the brunette take the manuscript in her hands and flick through the pages, he walked over to the chair that was on the other side of the room and brought it over to her. Setting it down, he straddled the chair and rested his arm on the back. He watched her eyes dart from left to right across the pages in silence as he allowed her to read what he had printed out for her. Several minutes later, she managed to tear her gaze away from the manuscript, a small smile appearing on her lips.

"This is really good Dan. This reminds me of the days when you used to print out stories for me to read," She replied in a soft voice with a light laugh.

"Those were the days, huh?" He smiled slightly, blinking slowly as he looked up at her.

Just as she was motioning for Dan to take the manuscript back, he shook his head and held his hand up, gesturing for her to stop.

"Keep it. I've got a copy,"

"Thank you,"

They both smiled, their gazes averting one another before Dan finally lifted his head up to look at her.

"Y- You gave me the inspiration to write Blair. You gave me my muse back,"

Startled, the brunette looked up to meet his gaze for a moment before it fell back to the front page that Dan had started reading from. Breathing slowly, she looked back at Dan, and for the longest moment, the two of them sat there in complete silence.


	12. Chapter 12

_I won't let you murder it._

Dan Humphrey hadn't been dressed in a tailored suit for a long time. The suit that Blair had measured him up for had arrived at the penthouse earlier that morning, long before he was up. Rushing to the dining table in his dress shirt, boxer briefs and socks, he downed down a cup of black coffee, not caring for the fact that the liquid was scalding his throat. Returning to his bedroom, he stared at the black bag that was laid out on the bed for him. Pulling the zip down the front of the bag, he pulled out the suit and held it out at arm's length to inspect it. Blair had done a good job. But then again, she had always had impeccable taste.

Tossing the suit to the bed, he noticed something catch his eye. Furrowing his brow, he leaned over the bed as he fished a piece of paper out of the front pocket of the jacket. Unfolding it, his eyes scanned the note before tucking it in the breast pocket of his shirt. He then proceeded to slip on the pants and jacket before turning to the mirror to inspect himself. A part of him felt uncomfortable, awkward. Serena still didn't know, and here he was, supporting her at an event when he didn't want to be there.

Taking the tie from the bag, he turned back to the mirror and proceeded to tie his tie in a Windsor knot. Swallowing with pursed lips, Dan turned away from his reflection before picking up everything he needed before exiting the room and heading down to the town car that was waiting for him.

* * *

Chuck Bass has never been nervous in his entire life. Not after his first hotel opening after his father's unfortunate death, not even after his seventh hotel opening. So why the hell was he onto his fourth scotch of the day when it had only just passed noon?

Swallowing the bitter liquor, he placed the glass delicately down on the counter, finally pushing himself off the stool and starting to mingle with the crowd. He had loosened up sufficiently and he was quite sure that he was going to be able to converse with the rest of high society.

It only took him a few minutes after his departure from the bar to find himself faced with Dan Humphrey, and he suppressed the instinctive urge to make snide remarks at him. But Chuck almost couldn't fault him. The Brooklynite cleaned up well, but he was sure that the only reason he looked good was because of Blair. Making his way over to him, he purposely bumped into his shoulder, making sure that the boy stopped and looked at him.

"Nice you could join us Humphrey," Chuck sneered, his head turning sideways to look at him. "I don't know what you did to Blair the other day, but when I find out, your career is over. You hear me?"

"Crystal," Dan replied simply before Chuck gave him a nod, allowing him to leave as he continued to mingle with the rest of the crowd.

* * *

Stealing several kisses from his wife, Dan allowed her to leave his side to let her mingle with the rest of the guests. Glancing down at his watch, he swallowed as he started to make his way through the crowd. Managing to find the corner that the note had described, he felt a tug at the cuff o his jacket. Awkwardly sidestepping, he turned to see the one and only Blair Waldorf standing there, a small smile appearing on her face.

"I wasn't sure if you would come," She said in a low voice, not wanting people to hear as they were exploring the lobby of the hotel.

"Of course I would," Dan replied, a smile forming on his lips that mirrored hers. "Chuck thinks we did something and he threatened me as I walked through the door,"

Blair's eyes rolled up into the back of her head before a sigh fell from her lips. Dan wasn't all that sure as to what happened during the time that he wasn't at her apartment, but he was sure that there was a bit of hysterical crying.

"I may have said some things to him. But nothing that would lead him to suspect anything,"

"Good. Because no one needs to know about what happened that night. And even though I know where you stand, I still don't know where I stand with you. And… and we can't meet in secret without it looking suspicious. And you know what happens when people thinks something's going on. It always means that something is going on, when in fact, nothing is going on between us,"

"Humphrey, shut up. You're rambling," Blair smiled before peering out on either side of Dan, smoothing out his jacket with the palms of her hands.

"You look good," She complimented softly, staring up into his dark brown orbs.

"You clean up pretty well yourself Waldorf," He responded, giving her a small nod. "A Waldorf original no doubt,"

"Of course, I wouldn't have it any other way," She grinned brightly. "Since you said we shouldn't be huddled in a corner all secretive, I'm going to find Chuck and beat his Bass-ass,"

Dan gave her a look before the brunette simply gave him a smile before going on her way. His lips smiling slightly, he shook his head before turning around and heading back towards the crowd.

* * *

An hour had passed and it was time for speeches. Standing next to Serena, Dan's arm found its way around her waist as he watched Chuck Bass make his way up on stage. Although he hadn't spotted Blair within the last hour, he just hoped that she didn't say anything that would make him say anything in public. But with the way that the boy was standing, he was quite sure that Chuck had already made full use of the bar.

"Thank you all, for coming to the opening of the newest hotel by Bass Industries!" He greeted, almost too jubilantly for his usual self. "I'd like to thank all of the people that put in a lot of hard work into making this happen. A special mention goes to Serena van der Woodsen, an old friend and also a fantastic interior designer. Just look at the place!"

Applause filled the room, Dan leaning in to place a gentle kiss on his wife's cheek. But he couldn't help but feel that Chuck was up to something, and with the amount of alcohol that he had apparently consumed, it seemed like he was going to make the sweetness of his success turn sour.

"But before I let you all go, I just have one more thing to say…"

Dan's stomach churned. He could feel it in his bones – this wasn't going to be good.

"Congratulations to Blair Waldorf, who's finally found a man who can hold her down," Chuck paused, "Too bad it's a married man,"

Murmurs filled the room, Dan's eyes darting every which way to see where the brunette was. He couldn't have cared what Chuck had to say next, he knew that this would have hurt her the most. Amongst all the commotion, Chuck lifted his champagne flute in the air before speaking once more.

"Dan Humphrey, you've got a hell of a woman on your plate. Serena, as your friend, I strongly suggest a lawyer," Chuck nodded before knocking the flute against the microphone. "Enjoy the rest of your free alcohol, and then get out. I've got a business to run,"

Downing down the contents of the flute, Chuck sauntered away from the microphone and made his way towards Dan. Already moving away from Serena and her confused looks, the two men stared each other down before Chuck simply grabbed a fistful of Dan's shirt.

"You don't deserve either of them. You don't even deserve Serena for god's sake!" He spat.

"Chuck!" Serena hissed.

"Stay out of it Serena! You don't know what your precious husband has done," Chuck seethed as he turned his attention back to Dan.

"I don't know what you did, but I know what you did to Blair was bad. So bad that she called me in hysterics, demanded that I come over,"

"That doesn't mean anything Chuck," Dan replied calmly, trying to ignore the fact that all eyes were on him and what was unfolding.

Feeling Chuck's grip tighten, he was pulled closer to him as he found his ear right up against his lips.

"I haven't been with Blair in over four months. Why the hell would she call me after so long to sleep with her Humphrey?" He whispered angrily, unclenching Dan's shirt and pushing him back.

Stumbling backwards, Dan found himself being stabilised by a stranger and Serena. Looking over at the man, he gave him a gracious smile before turning to look at Chuck, now licking his lips and demanding that everyone leave.

As guests started to slowly trickle out the door, Chuck pushed his way through to the elevators, hitting the up button repeatedly. Swallowing, Dan felt like his world was slowly crashing down around him. Chuck had insinuated that he had done something to Blair behind Serena's back, and while it was true, Dan was hoping that it would have never gotten out because it didn't mean anything.

Serena's head lowering, her hand covering her face, Dan pursed his lips as he scanned the room for Blair. With the brunette out of sight, his gaze dropped to the floor as he swallowed. She had probably left the building the second that Chuck walked up to the microphone in the state he was in. Turning back to Serena, he took her other hand and intertwined her fingers with hers and squeezing her hand.

"Let's go home," Dan whispered quietly.

"Let's," She replied, squeezing his hand back as the two of them started to make their way out of the hotel.


	13. Chapter 13

_How did it come to this?_

Dan had stepped out of the hotel with his wife, just after the worst possible hotel opening for Chuck Bass and Bass Industries. But just as their car rounded the corner, Serena's phone rang and the blonde fished it out of her purse. Ignoring her phone call, when the car stopped in front of them, Dan stepped forward and opened the door for Serena, turning back to look at her with a distressed look on her face. Watching her as she hung up, she sighed at Dan before leaning in and placing a soft kiss against his lips.

"I have to go. Chuck, he's just…"

"You're the only one that will talk some sense into him,"

Giving Dan a slight smile, she nodded before kissing him once more.

"I don't know how long I'll be, but I'll call you if something happens,"

Nodding, Dan watched as she retreated back inside the hotel. Swallowing, he turned around and slid into the back seat of the car, shutting the door and directing the driver to head back home.

* * *

Entering the foyer, Dan pulled out his cell phone and tried dialing Blair's number once more. Pressing his phone against his ear, he started walking through the corridor, only to hear the brunette's ringtone. Puzzled, Dan lowered his phone from his ear and started following the sound. Leading him to his study, he pushed the door open slowly to see the brunette sitting in his chair, her legs brought up to her chest. Snapping his phone shut, Dan closed and locked the door behind him before making his way over to her. She stayed perfectly still as he approached her, not even making a single sound as he found himself crouching down beside her.

"What'd you hear?" Dan whispered quietly.

"I left after he walked off. I don't know why I'm here, but I came here," She stuttered quietly. Swallowing, Dan knew that she shouldn't have been here either. While Serena seemed unmoved to Chuck's actions, he was sure that she was going to come home and question him as to why he would have said such things.

Frowning slightly, Dan patted Blair's knee softly. "You should go,"

The brunette's curls flew as she whipped her head down in Dan's direction, looking at him with disappointed frown.

"Blair, I…" Dan trailed off, rising to his feet and taking a step back. "Blair, I- I talked to Nate a while ago. And, he…"

He was struggling with his words. He knew that what he was going to say was going to hurt Blair, but he hoped desperately that he would find the right words to soften the blow.

"Blair, I don't know if you should wait for me,"

The words were out, and Blair looked almost stunned.

"I. I know what I did was really wrong, and a part of me wished I could take it back so I didn't have to put you through this, but, I'm married to Serena. This… I can't just break up with her, it's nothing like high school,"

"Who said anything about high school Dan?" Blair hissed as she unfolded herself and stood up from the chair. "This is not some silly school girl crush! I've loved you since college. And every time I see you with Serena, my heart breaks a little more. And after what Chuck put me through, I can't really handle that much more,"

"I was broken and you fixed me up again, like I was brand new. I didn't need someone like Chuck to make me feel good about myself. And that was the moment I realised that you, no matter how much you despised me in high school, you became my friend and against all odds, we became best friends!" Blair was on the verge of hysteria, and Dan knew that tears weren't going to be far from now.

"I've loved you for five years Dan, five very long years. And every single day, I wondered what it would have been like to hold your hand, have your arms around my waist, your lips brush mine, your body move against mine. I've wondered everything about you Dan. And that night, even though it wasn't what I thought our first night together would be like, it made me happy. Because it gave me a ray of hope that maybe one day, maybe I would finally get something right, and maybe, I wouldn't want a Chuck Bass any more. That maybe one day, I would want a Dan Humprhey,"

Her voice became quiet, her head dropped and he saw the familiar shoulder shrug. Swallowing, Dan blinked slowly before closing the gap between them and wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into an embrace.

"I… I can't decide right now Blair. I don't know if I'll ever be the man you want me to be," Dan whispered quietly in his efforts to soothe her.

"I've just had, an overload of information in the past few weeks. First I can't write, then I write because for some reason, you give me inspiration. And when you tell me that you love me, I get confused. I don't even know what to do any more. I… I don't even know why sometimes all I can think about is you," Dan trailed off quietly, stopping himself before he continued to give her false hope.

Pulling away, Dan captured Blair's gaze before speaking once more.

"I don't know if you should wait. But when I decide, you'll be the first to know,"

The brunette looking up at him with a glazed look, she nodded her head before he pressed his lips against her forehead gently. Hearing a soft sniff, he felt her push away from him.

"In that case, I can't see you until you decide," She muttered quietly, violently wiping away the stray tears from her cheeks.

"Wait, what?"

"I can't see you. You can't see me. Don't call me, don't visit me. Just, don't. I can't see you again. Because every time I look at you, another part of me breaks, and I can't handle it,"

Dan stood there stunned as he watched the brunette pull herself together, take a deep breath before giving him her best smile.

"See you around Humphrey," She whispered, leaning up and leaving a lingering kiss against his cheek before walking away and exiting the study. Hearing the door click shut, Dan's eyes shut as he breathed in slowly. His world was spinning, and he wanted it to stop.


	14. Chapter 14

_I tried to give you up but I'm addicted._

Dan Humphrey had been staring at his computer screen for days. The blinking cursor almost seemed like it was laughing at him. He had had trouble writing for the past week and he knew the reason for it. He didn't want to admit it out loud, and neither did he want to tell Serena about it either. But every time she walked out of his study, he swallowed and tried to focus back on his writing. Trying to write something new was difficult. All he could think of was Blair and what she was doing right at that moment. Then he would get lost in his thoughts, only to be brought back to the real world by the help bringing him his coffee. He had asked them to bring a fresh cup every ninety minutes, and he was quite sure that he was probably going to have a caffeine overdose from the amount that he was drinking, but he couldn't help it. His mind was racing for all the wrong reasons, and he couldn't write a single thing.

Thanking the maid, he took the cup from her and sipped the dark liquid. Swallowing, Dan placed the cup on his desk before turning his attention back to the blank word document that was on his screen. Leaning back in his chair, sighed as he tried to think of something to write. The words didn't seem to be flowing from his fingers like they usually did, and he was starting to panic a little. Every time Serena had asked him how he was going, he had just shown her a section that he had written the week before, playing it off as what he had been working on. Right now, Dan was put in a position he didn't want to be in. He didn't want to lie to Serena, but neither did he want to explain the reason as to why he couldn't write. He wanted to go to see Blair just to see if he could get some ideas from her, but he knew he couldn't see her. Groaning, he shut his laptop and yanked the power plug from it, pushing himself up from his chair and stepping back. Collecting his bag, he carefully dropped the laptop in before zipping it up and heading out of his study. He had to see her, even if it meant having the door slammed in his face.

* * *

"Humphrey, what the hell are you doing here?" The brunette demanded. Lifting his head, Dan spotted Blair shutting the door behind her as she started to cross the room.

"I had to see you," Dan muttered quietly, an almost helpless look in his eyes. "I- I just…"

"Dan," Blair sighed, her gaze falling to the floor before the boy closed the space between the two of them, now only several feet apart.

"I'm in trouble. Every time I try to write, I can't. I show Serena different parts of what I've written weeks ago, and I can't…" He swallowed. "I can't write without you Blair,"

Simply looking at her, he watched as Blair lifted her gaze to meet his.

"Dan… you… you can't," Blair breathed, only to then find her standing flush against his body, her lips pressed against his. Closing his eyes, Dan took a breath before circling his arms around her waist and eased into the kiss.

It was wrong, but Dan couldn't have cared less. Were his feelings for Blair Waldorf slowly resurfacing? He knew the answer, and he wasn't going to stop Blair. Feeling her take control, he felt himself being pushed back up against the side of her bed, only to fall back against the mattress. Before he knew it, Blair had climbed on top of him, their clothes were on the floor and they became entangled with one another under the sheets.

* * *

Groaning, Dan slowly opened his eyes as he rolled onto his front. Blinking several times, he looked around to see that he was still in the same place. Swallowing, he turned back on his back before turning his head to see Blair sitting beside him, reading something. A small smile appeared on his lips for a moment, only for it to disappear when he realised what she was reading.

His story.

"Blair!" He exclaimed. Lurching forward, he snatched the manuscript out from her hands before moving himself to the other end of the bed. She must have fished it out of his bag while he had his nap. She might have read some of it, but he was going to make sure that she didn't read more of it until it was finished.

"I was just reading that," The brunette stated with a small smile, tugging the sheet up her body before puling her legs up to her chest and circling her arms around them.

"It's not done yet," Dan whispered almost ashamedly.

"You've let me read some of your writing when they weren't done before,"

"This time it's different,"

"How?"

The room fell silent. Dan wasn't even sure how he was able to answer the question. While the story wasn't exactly the same, he was indirectly writing a story about the two of them.

"This one is real," He whispered, his gaze shifting away from Blair's for a moment.

Another awkward silence fell upon the room, only to be broken by Blair's voice.

"So what happens now?"

"We…" Dan didn't know. Fuck, he was in trouble.

"Just. Just don't tell Serena. I'll do it,"

"And what are you going to tell her? That you've been writing about me and sleeping with me?"

"What? No…"

"So what are you going to tell her? Because I care about Serena as much as you do, and you have to be just as straight with her as you are with me,"

Swallowing, Dan knew that this was not going to be an easy conversation. To think that he had cheated on his wife was something else. But with his and her best friend was another big issue altogether.

"I'll tell her," Dan whispered quietly, tossing the manuscript to the floor before shuffling over to Blair. Placing his hands on her cheeks, he looked straight into her eyes and repeated himself again before placing a tender kiss against her lips.

Once their lips parted, he felt Blair's forehead rest against his. "I hate it when you make me feel this way,"

Smiling slightly, Dan looked up at Blair before placing another kiss on her lips.

"I actually quite like the way you make me feel,"


	15. Chapter 15

Now that you know I'm trapped, sense of elation.

– "Time Is Running Out" by Muse.

Dan Humphrey was not the sort of person to go around sleeping with other women behind his wife's back. That was never his style or his personality, but for the past few weeks, he couldn't help but find himself falling into bed with the sharp tongued brunette every few days. It had been perfect since Serena was working almost harder than ever at the new Bass hotel. But during the times that she and Dan had a conversation, she managed to let it slip that Bass Industries were going to be starting another venture. It was early days, but if they were going to go through with it, then she wouldn't be needed for a while. With that mention, it struck fear into his heart. The only reason she had been so absent the past couple of weeks was because she was making sure that everything in the new hotel was running smoothly. But once she wasn't needed as much any more, it was going to get difficult to see Blair.

And no, Dan hadn't told Serena about her either. She was too busy, and just a touch stressed out about Chuck's semi-disappearance. The heir had managed to drop off the radar two days after the opening and nobody had heard a word from him since. The press was trying to get an answer about his outburst, which led to an extremely stressed team and Serena. Every time Dan sat down to talk to her, she would start going off on a tangent about work. They hadn't had a decent conversation in a long time. Which when he heard the prospect of Serena not working intensely for a while and her being able to just sit down and catch up with him properly of what had been going on with him, scared him. The thought of bringing up his infidelity with her was a topic that he wasn't all that keen on. How to even broach the subject was mind boggling itself.

But as the blonde rushed past the dining table once more, placing a brief kiss on his cheek and snatching the half bagel from his plate, she rushed off to work for the last time. While it was possibly the last time that he would have been able to see Blair alone for a while, his plans were to bring his laptop to her place and write, he knew that the two of them would end up doing more than that. Every time he was over, they would act like they were lovesick teenagers, their hands all over each other while they giggled and laughed like school children, their fingers fumbling with their attempts to shed their clothes. Not a lot of writing actually took place at Blair's place, but she managed to give him enough muse to last him for the rest of the day when he returned home. Sighing contently, Dan finished off what was left of his bagel, emptying the contents of his coffee cup before getting up and taking the things he needed for another day at Blair's place.

* * *

"What the hell is going on between you and my best friend?"

The second that Dan had stepped inside, his wife had pulled him into his study, slapped him firmly across the face and demanded that she give him answers. What astounded him more was how she found out that there was something going on between them. He thought he was quite thorough with everything, but it turned out that he wasn't all that clever at masking his tracks. But at the moment, Dan didn't know how much she knew about his infidelity. He was going to have to play it down for now until she had proof.

"Wait. What are you talking about? Is this something that Chuck said?" Dan probed.

"No. More about what your old best friend saw you doing at my best friend's place,"

He was stunned. She knew something. It sounded like there was no real evidence that she knew that he had cheated on her, but if he knew Vanessa, she would have gotten her facts straight before she told Serena.

"Look, there is nothing going on between me and Blair, if that's what you're sugge-"

"I know there's something going on between you and Blair. Do you really think that Vanessa would just jump to some kind of conclusion based on the fact that she had seen you walking in and out of her place every now and again?"

The feint lines on Serena's forehead started to crease once more; Dan could see the irritation, anger, and hurt etched on her face. What was he supposed to do now? He was starting to become backed into a corner, and he wasn't sure if he was able to back out of this one so easily.

"Well it's Vanessa. She's done a few crazy things in the past," Dan trailed off, giving her a half shrug causing Serena to scoff.

"She may have dropped off the map now and again with you, but I've been keeping in touch with her. Contrary to what you believe, we actually talk more to each other than you two do. And believe me when I say that I know you're sleeping with my best friend,"

That was it. She knew what was going on. Dan didn't want to deny it, but neither did he want to be honest about what he was doing; his silence the answer that she was looking for.

What happened next was the second slap that he received from his wife that afternoon. This time, he didn't look up at her.

He could hear a feint sob, and from his lowered gaze, he could see her fiddling with the ring on her left fourth finger. He swallowed, clenching his jaw, not even flinching as she threw the ring at him, hearing it fall to the floor with a light clink.

Gaze lowered, Dan heard Serena's heels clicking across the floor and slamming the door shut, his body flinching at the noise. Unfortunately the news of his infidelity had reached the ears of his wife. Now what was he was going do about it?

* * *

The weather had turned for the worse in New York City and it was now pouring with rain. Dan didn't even bother grabbing an umbrella as he made his way out of the car that was parked a block away before running in the rain towards Blair's brownstone. The weather certainly reflected the way his day was going and right now, it didn't help that he was completely dripping wet.

He had repeatedly buzzed the brownstone for the past few minutes and he hadn't gotten a response. Dan could have easily guessed that Serena had confronted Blair the second that she had found out the truth between the two of them. Not to mention, Blair and Dorota would have suspected that Dan was going to be coming over to talk to her. But as soon as it seemed like he had pressed the buzzer for what seemed like the millionth time, the door opened and the person that stood there surprised him.

"Blair,"

"Dan, what the hell are you doing? You shouldn't be here right now," she hissed. She might have tried to act annoyed at him, but he could tell that she was hurting on the inside.

"I- I just had to come,"

"And do what Dan? Do what?"

Dan tried to say something, but he couldn't. He kept on opening his mouth, trying to say something, but all he could say was nothing.

"Dan, just- just go,"

Just as the brunette was closing the door on him, he instinctively stuck his foot out to stop her. The heavy door unfortunately did hit his foot, causing him to wince in pain. That made her stop.

Rain was rolling off Dan's head and dripping into the foyer of the brownstone; the brunette didn't budge.

"I want to be with you," he said finally, looking up into Blair's eyes.

The one thing that he knew about Blair was that she knew when he was telling the truth – and he was telling the truth.

The brunette swallowed. "But you know we can't b-"

"Yes, we can."

There was silence between them for a moment, which seemed like several minutes to Dan.

"Serena already hates both of us," Blair muttered quietly, her chin dropping.

Dan placed his hand against the door to push it open, his other hand now extending to lift the brunette's chin. He simply looked into her eyes with a slight smile before shaking his head.

"She hates me, not you," he uttered quietly, his hand now moving to cup her face. "I want to be with you," he repeated once more. This caused her to give her that smile that he loved so much, accompanied by a light laugh.

"Dan, you just- you have no idea how you make me feel,"

"I think I have an idea," he said with a smile, leaning in and pressing his forehead against Blair's. Her petite hands moved to the side of his face, their gaze meeting once more.

"What are we gonna do Dan?" she asked quietly, a somewhat defeated look on her face. Dan could have only imagined what she felt. She had betrayed her best friend's trust by sleeping with her husband, and all she wanted to do was be with him.

"We'll talk about it when we cross that bridge," he muttered quietly, closing his eyes and pressing his lips against Blair's.

And in that moment, Dan never wanted to break away from her. He had finally found the clarity that he had been looking for. And that clarity was within Blair Waldorf.


End file.
